When Insecurity Becomes You...

Well, I obviously didn't wait too long to post something, but hey, it's my blog right? :)

I don't even know who reads this and when, but hi whoever you are.

I just have a little "nugget" of wisdom to share.  It's a pretty cliché one, but it's relevant.

We all struggle on a daily basis to make sense of who we are.  We want to have the perfect hair, perfect clothes, perfect body, and perfect skin.

Let me just stop at that last one. Perfect skin. As women (and probably men), we all have those days where God says, "I'm going to give you a reality check. You need a zit or two.. or three.. or four."

You stand in front of the mirror for an hour trying to figure out how to "paint" on your concealer to make it less noticeable. Nothing seems to work, so there's a slight chance you either:

A) Cancel your plans
B) Try to start a trend with face-paint
C) Attempt to avoid mirrors the entire night
D) And the worst: pop and pray (this method never works)

I'm not proud of the fact that I have probably managed to do all of those a few times.

I never talk about this.  It's my biggest insecurity, and although I've managed to basically defeat it thanks to my rock-star of a dermatologist, it's managed to change how I view myself everyday.

Insecure, anxious, nervous as to if anyone is going to notice something wrong with me, accomplishing something else to make up for the imperfection...

Zits. Pimples. Acne. Ugh, that's such an ugly word. Well, all of them are.

I started breaking out around the fifth grade. At ten years old, who really cares what you look like? Well, I did. It came to my realization that something wasn't quite right about what was happening to me, but it didn't really hit me until a "friend" of mine at the time decided to mention it to me.

I didn't know what was wrong with me. Why couldn't I just be flawless like all of my other friends?

That's where I was wrong: no one is flawless.

Even though that statement is a fact, it still doesn't make any of us feel better.  We all look at each other and want what someone else has. 

"Look at the way her hair glistens in the sunlight!" or "Why can't I be bronze goddess like that girl?"

We all suffer from envy, and we want others to envy us. So we tan, buy designer clothes, paint on expensive make-up, and expect everyone to say, "Hey, look at her, she's perfect!"

Hey, it's part of being a girl, and it's OKAY to love all of those things. I'm probably one of the worst, as clothes/make-up/hair and everything else matter to me more than they should.

But case in point, I'm having one of those "girl days" today. My hair is a mess no matter how much hairspray I force into it, I have three gigantic friends on my cheek/chin, and I can't even decide what to wear.

As I continuously failed this morning at making myself "perfect," I came too close to an emotional breakdown. I was ready to cancel my day, make up some excuse about how sick I felt, and plug in my laptop for a One Tree Hill marathon.

But then it finally hit me: I was being a total idiot. I have so much to be thankful for, and I was going to let a day of imperfection ruin my life.  I have had thousands of days where I felt "perfect." Why should this one cancel all of those out?

So next time you let your insecurity define who you are, remember that 24 hours flies.. and the next day can only be better.

And one more thing: look in the mirror today and say "Fierce. Fabulous. Flawless."
Say that a solid five times, and you'll have yourself a temporary confidence booster.

Shoes and Starbucks,

Jayy Fabulous <3