I know, I know. I've been living under a rock. A huge... giant... bolder. Also known as C-O-L-L-E-G-E.
Lord, I wish I had some natural domestic skills so that I could be a stay-at-home person. That's a thing now, right?
Well, things have been insane. Homecoming, cheerleading, classes, work, and attempting to maintain that one thing called a... uh... social life?
My GPA isn't too thrilled with me, but I think a bad semester is essential for any college student. It keeps us humble, right?
My apologies to all of 5 of you who read my blog religiously this summer. Your support and following was greatly appreciated, and it still is! I have received such amazing encouragement and love from all of you. I can't thank you enough.
Working remotely is going extremely well! I still adore my job, and cannot wait to make my way back to the city in a few years.
Most of you who have read my blog this summer, know that it is a mix of fashion tips (which has hit the decline this semester, college kills), experiences, adventures, and updates on my internship.
Plus, I think there's a few in there where I have been completely vulnerable about love, life, and all of that other stuff that us ladies tend to be really sappy about.
Well, that's what tonight is about... so if you were looking for some hip, exciting entry about something fabulous about fashion or NYC... you might want to click that "X" immediately.
Transitioning from the city of independence, life, and inventing one-self to the family-oriented, married-by-20 state of Missouri has been a difficult one for me. I've never tried to fit in here, as I've never shared the same state of mind as anyone else, but feeling like a fish out of water doesn't even begin to describe it.
Not to mention, I go to a conservative, private college, where basically all of the qualities about Missouri I stated above are huge blanket over the institution.
I know, I know... you're reading this thinking, "That poor, cynical, 21 year-old girl... someone must have really messed her up."
And you wouldn't be totally incorrect, I've lived a little. I've broken others, and I've been broken. In the world of dating, you don't make it through without being the victim yourself, but that's not the point.
The merry-go-round. The high, honeymoon period of dating. The 5 glorious weeks you spent texting, using pet-names that you are not anywhere near ready for, and then all of the sudden it happens...
The next level arrives, and neither one of you is ready for that. Your merry-go-round turns into the Haunted Mansion ride at Disneyland. Dark, horrifying, and mysterious.
"Do we uhm... make this Facebook official?"
"Uhm... do I ask him/her about their exes?"
"Should I do that for him/her? Are we THAT serious?"
You ask yourself these questions once you hit about week 6... not sure if it is "okay" to, as you don't want to "scare" him/her off.
Here's the deal folks: you aren't doing yourself any favors by asking YOURSELF these questions.
Lets try this... how about you take the questions that you have compiled in your head... and actually verbalize them... to the person you are dating.
Sounds like a difficult task, doesn't it?
Some of us have came up with this idea that it is okay to omit the words we really want to say from a conversation with our talking mates (<-- I laughed for about 10 minutes after typing that descriptor. 21st Century dating, folks.). That it is necessary to "avoid the edge" because you don't want to upset them.
My main question is, how do you expect to get anywhere if you aren't saying what you really want to say?
Honesty is the *cliché ahead, drum roll please* the best policy.
Whether it is how you feel about them, positive or negative, it needs to be said. If you don't, I hope you enjoyed the Haunted Mansion ride at Disneyland when you were 5, because congratulations, that's the foundation of your new-found relationship.
Yikes, I didn't like my tone in that statement, but I'm running on about 4 hours of sleep, and deleting blunt statements isn't on my agenda.
Bottom-line ladies and gents: to each their own, but if you're anything like me, this isn't your central focus for your early 20's.
There are exceptions to the rule, people who make marriage at an early age look like a walk in the park, and that's fabulous.
But if you're still on the merry go-round, at the same pace you were a few months ago... honey darlin', your ride needs to be over. For now.
Travel, work, meet new people, spend time with your Grandma, work-out, go out, paint a picture...
But for the love of all that is holy, never settle.
Yours, bad grammar and all,
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